Hollifield column brings back memories

It was a lovely day for a drive. The 1988 Grand Wagoneer had changed hands for the fourth time, but for the first time, it was leaving Burlington, N.C.

The present owner bought it from his wife’s sister, who bought it from a local physician, who bought it new, right there in Burlington. End of brief history.

Tommy, I won’t need to do the force calculations your response inspired in me. This nearly pristine vehicle will do battle with trees and forest, understory over my dead body. Hence, the tragic flaw in searching for a replacement vehicle. You’ve got to get the best you can find for what you are willing to pay. We rejected several beat-up, oil-leaking Grand Wagoneers, perfectly suited for the use we envisioned. This one was even garage-kept.

One travel story…..

My job on the return trip was to follow the Saturn. This proved to be of useful purpose. Two miles into our trip home and on a busy four-lane highway running through town, I watched in disbelief a dark object uncoupling from the Jeep’s underbelly and propelling itself directly toward me.

It passed under my car and under a couple of cars following me. I quickly pulled to the side of the road, preparing to duck and weave through two-way traffic to retrieve said projectile.

Mission accomplished. It was a hot-to-the-touch cylindrical object, and I think it had expansion capabilities, like an accordion. With the object in tow, I caught up to Rick, who had pulled off the road.

Somewhat breathless from my excursion into traffic, chasing a rolling, side-winding object and me filled with requisite adrenaline, I held the errant part in front of Rick. I was ready to say, “See, we got screwed,” but wisely, I held my tongue because it would be more satisfying to have him say it.

He looked at the object, paused and said,” Oh, I know what that is. It’s inconsequential. Thanks for getting it.”

The comment stayed with me for the remainder of the trip. I pondered long and hard why a manufacturer would put on extra parts that would fall off only at high driving speeds, flying in an unpredictable trajectory and expensive to replace, notwithstanding their questionable purposes.

My senses remained on guard as I considered the gravity of my role as the retriever of parts, necessary or inconsequential. After all, I had to assume a part was necessary to vehicular function until otherwise enlightened. Still, it explains why vehicles cost more than they used to. Next, the kitchen sink.

After we got home, I learned the part was used in the winter to divert heat from the engine to the …..(oops….well, something that benefits from heated air)…..  AHA, I thought, so it’s only inconsequential for three-quarters of the year. Thus, my known universe was restored into alignment.

Just to go on way, way too long. There appears to be a cult of aficionados of full size jeeps (FSJs) clogging the e-waves. I’m afraid I’ve been sucked in. I’ll be buying some scarce (I’m led to believe) MOPAR (OEM) mud flaps for a Grand Wagoneer (emblazoned with the word ‘Jeep’) over eBay. But, the bidding may get intense.

Susan M. Peterson
Manakin-Sabot